the Ohio State University Buckeyes

While everybody else is breaking down the games by the X's and O's in the upcoming NCAA Final Four games this weekend, I prefer to focus on what I really think is important - logos, jerseys, mascots and cheerleaders.

First up, the Ohio State University Buckeyes (I refuse to capitalize "The"). First of all, let me preface this by saying that I hate everything about Ohio State. Everything. Living in Bowling Green, Ohio for three years I had to put up with nothing but Buckeye fans and that experience turned me off to OSU sports forever. The arrogance is unrivaled in all of sports and nothing makes me happier than to see a Buckeye cry. I will even root for Florida football if it makes an OSU fan weep. That being said, I'll try to be as objective as I can, but my passionate hatred wells up whenever I even think about Ohio State, so it's going to be tough.

Logo: It pains me to say this, in fact it makes me feel ill just typing it, but I like the Ohio State logo just fine. It's very simple but still makes a unique and bold statement. It's a logo that is classically designed and will never go out of style as much as I might want it to. That being said, I can't think of anything else to say about this logo, it's that uneventful.

Jerseys: The same could be said about Ohio State's jerseys until the Big Ten tournament started and they plum lost their minds. On the surface, they are still a classic looking, simple jersey, but then you see them in game action and you realize what a joke they are. Form fitting tops, itty bitty little arm holes, weird silver wings on each shoulder and big ass baggy shorts. Nike should be ashamed of themselves. Lebron James should be ashamed of himself. They aren't as bad as Syracuse's "Orange" jerseys, but they still look really strange. The future of basketball jerseys? I hope not. Maybe in the WNBA, but please, not college basketball.

Mascot: Seriously, this is the mascot of the nation's largest university and one of the most successful, profitable and popular athletic programs in the country? It's a felt nut wearing a rugby shirt and sweatpants! Classically designed and simple? Yes. Perhaps time to upgrade? Definitely.

On the other hand, it's probably one of the most accurate mascots anywhere. That's the expression that most Ohio State fans have on their face when reading, writing or doing arithmetic (objectivity be damned!).

Cheerleaders: If there is a more conservative group of cheerleaders in all of the NCAA, I have yet to see them. Jerry Falwell's Liberty University cheer squad dresses dirtier than this. The guys are showing more skin than the ladies and the basketball team's jerseys are more revealing. But what can you say, just like everything else about Ohio State, they are simple, classic and conservative. Anything else would seem out of place.

Overall: As I have said ad nauseum, Ohio State is simple, classic, conservative and...who am I kidding...boring, just like the state that it represents.

Team: the Ohio State University
Conference: Big Ten
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Arena: Value City Arena at the Jerome Schottenstein Center